by Ana
(Malaysia)
I'm a Ana,21 years old...I was searching for inspirational stories on the net coz right now,I am really depressed with all the problems that I am facing.I am supporting my family financially so I need to work hard,I am an English tutor.I haven't finished studying yet and will pursue studying this coming enrollment.
As what I've said above,I am very stressed out ad depressed coz of the following problems:
1.I am tired and annoyed with my older brothers and sister coz they are very irresponsible.My sister has her own family but still living with mom together with her husband (who has no job at the moment so I need to support them including Rachelle,their daughter)I am happy to support my family but I really feel tired coz of working. I started working since I was 16,and started working as an english tutor when I was 19.As a 21-year-old girl,I really find it hard to take over such responsibility which should have been my parent's.My mom and dad separated 2 years ago and dad stopped supporting us since I left my hometown.Dad has no permanent job and he has his new girlfriend right now at the age of 56.My younger brother is currectly studying as a third-year-high school student and my youngest brother will study next year and I am supporting their studies too.I have 2 older brothers,the oldest one is at home too living with my mom,he has work but doesn't give a penny to mom,next to him is another older brother of mine who has no work too,not living with mom but he is not helping mom either.This is my major problem coz what if one day I will just give up on my "responsibilities" to them? What will happen to them?
2.I made a mistake of accepting money from a friend's bf as a help coz he treats me as his daughter and my friend sees me as an enemy now,I understand how she felt but please let me explain why I took the money.I BADLY needed money during that time coz my brother was with me and we had nowhere to go so I asked for help and my friend's bf gave a little help.When my friend realized that her bf had sent me such amount of money,she wanted me to pay her but her bf told me not to.I really wanna pay her but I don't have enough money right now.So I am depressed and frustrated coz I will move to another place next week and I only have enough money to pay for the new house and my budget until my next payday.
I have written 2 major problems of mine aside from my low self-esteem.I wanna give time to my lovelife at the moment and I find it hard coz of the responsibilities and problems that I have.I love my boyfriend and I don't wanna give him up but I really feel down today and one of the ways that I know to feel better is writing what is bothering me right now.
I know it is a site where people's spirit will be lift up and for them to be motivated but I just wrote something in here so I can express myself.
I also need advices coz of my problems,so if you have time,please give me words of wisdom and encouragement to go on life though its hard.I am a strong woman but I somtimes feel like giving up.I know I won't give up that easily too that's why I shared a story to let it out and to lessen the heavy feelings inside my heart and mind.
Thank you and I am so sorry that this story isn't a good one.
God bless you!
Comments for Confused
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Below are the books I've written so far.
An illustrated children's book about the life and death of Tutankhamun. This book was chosen for the "King Tut - Treasures of the Golden Pharaoh" tour that travels the world (10 cities) starting in March 2018 (Los Angeles > Paris > London > Sydney) |